Douglas Adams called it “the long, dark tea-time of the soul." I don’t know exactly what he was referring to with that title, but it certainly describes what I’ve been going through. It’s been long (very long it seems), it’s been dark (and depressing with only occasional glimmers of light) and if it’s been a tea-time they’ve only been serving me Earl Gray.

Every night I sit in front of this damned screen and attempt to figure out what exactly it is that I’m feeling. But what I’m feeling and what I really want often remain unknown to me until I verbalize them. Speaking out is often the only way I truly know who I am. Doesn’t this seem odd? Other people seem to know who they are and what they want without the need to externalize and vocalize it. Me? I often don’t know what I’m really thinking until after speaking it.

This is certainly something to ponder while I go to sleep…